This book is about my kidnap thriller, The Locked Door.

It is my second of four novels.

The idea was confinement.

Why, I didn't know; I just felt a need to express it.

Naturally, I made it into a kidnap thriller.

During my writing, I connected with this 'strand'. This strand grew addictive, compulsive, shameful, deathly and creepy. Little did I realize the source of this strand.

Not until the age of 51 when I learned something terrible about myself.

The précis to The Locked Door reads:

"This hostage has a secret.

"Gemma would appear to have everything: money, a career and family. But her life takes a nasty turn when she is kidnapped and trapped in an upstairs room by three thugs demanding a huge ransom.

"In a bid to escape, she cuts a hole in the bedroom floor. From there, she spies on her kidnappers below."

As the story progressed, the captive's life began to feel as real as mine. She became like an avatar that I would enter when I craved escapism from my otherwise mundane life.

With the terrible truth now known, I have analysed The Locked Door. I am appalled at what I have found.

This novel appears to possess a shadow novel beneath the apparent one.

During the writing, I was completely oblivious to it.

Illustrations and diary excerpts are included in this true story.