Thoses suffering the merest hint of desire to fo seafaring in their own boat will learn from these heart-breaking examples just what can go wrong. Read the secrets of successfuly leaving a berth with topsides unmarked , happening miraculously upon your chosen destination, and them, for the piece de resistannce, dropping anchor with aplomb. The inevitable binocular watchers will murmer appreciatively and even your crew will be impressed. Perfect.

For the cogniscenti, those who know all, this fine book can be used as a chock for a deck-stepped mast, a wedge for proping open a broken hatch, to slapping a wayward crew member into shape. So buy it anyway. The mess some fools get into will give you a good laugh while leaving you, dare we say it, a trifle smug.

This book is best enjoyed with a pinch of salt, four parts gin, one part dry vermouth. Shaken. Not stirred.

Any profits from the sale of this book, claims the author, will go directly towards the purchase of his next boat.